November 24, 2012
Dear Dad,
Let’s face it, our family dynamics have changed drastically
since my siblings and I were born. The family I was once used to now seems
strange and unrealistic. When I was born, you worked full-time to support your
stay-at-home wife and growing family. Over the years, Mom went from housewife
to part-time work and now to a full-time supervisor position. Not only this,
but Mom relishes in both the freedom and responsibilities of work. You, on the
other hand, cannot wait that last year to retire and I know how you long to
switch to part-time work or even become a stay-at-home husband. I don’t blame
you Dad, and believe it or not, you’re not the only one. America has been
experiencing a new trend, heightened by the recent Great Recession, of men
losing their jobs and unable to find stable work while women climb the ladder
of success despite the country’s financial situation and are now finding
themselves on top. For the most part, history has exhibited the theme of
patriarchy all over the world. What if this traditional male dominance is not
what is best for society in general or specifically the family unit? Women are
starting to wear the pants more and more in this society, and I don’t think
this is merely a random phenomenon; women’s dominance in society is necessary –
women can no longer stay in the kitchen if our species is going to thrive on
this planet.
Biologically, the idea of a successful matriarchal society
is not a new idea. Consider our closest relatives genetically: chimpanzees. There
are two species of chimpanzees, the common chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes) and the bonobo chimpanzee (Pan paniscus). Humans
evolved from one species of chimps 4-6 million years ago and the one species
split into two roughly one million years ago. Unfortunately knowledge of the
social behaviors of chimps 4-6 million years ago is not accessible, but there
is still a lot to learn from their modern day counterparts. Both species show
huge a maternal influence in society. In common chimps, although there is an
alpha male, he is chosen by the females in the community. His status in the
community is only valuable for mating purposes and the female chimps are
dominant over the rest of the society, such as the resources. In bonobo
chimpanzees, the community is completely matriarchal – the female chimps have
total control over the community. If the species we once descended from and
share about 94% of our DNA with has found extreme success in a matriarchal
based society, why would humans be any different? How did we become a
patriarchal society in the first place? According to Darwin’s theory of natural
selection, if we want to keep evolving as a species, we must be able to adapt
many types of changes: physical, geographical, physiological, and especially
social. In American society today, we must adapt to the change in gender
dominance once again.
Women seem to be rising to a place of dominance in American society
in several aspects. This is extremely impressive considering that women
received the right to vote in this country a mere 92 years ago. In American 2
and 4 year universities, women make up 58% of enrolled students. Not only this,
but more women tend to drop out less, have a higher GPA, graduate with honors,
and pursue even further education than men. FIND QUOTE Statistics also show that today women
make up 46% of the labor force in America whereas in 1900, fewer than 20% of
women worked outside of the home. According to a New York Times article written
by Hanna Rosin, “Of the 15 categories projected to grow the fastest by 2016 —
among them sales, teaching, accounting, custodial services and customer service
— 12 are dominated by women.” She goes on to explain that even though these may
not be the most desirable or well-paid positions, they are the most stable and
consistent fields of work today. Very physical trade type work, like
construction, is out and more maternal based fields, like teaching and nursing,
are in. It is also true that women only make 77.5 cents to every dollar a man
makes, but this gap has been reduced substantially and only continues to
shrink.
On the other hand, this scenario is not experienced
worldwide. As Salam explains “while North American and Western European men
broadly – if not always happily – adapt to the new egalitarian order, their
counterparts in the emerging giants of East and South Asia, not to mention
Russia, all places where women often still face brutal domestic oppression, may
be headed for even more exaggerated gender inequality” (634). Salam explains that
although Western developed nations tend to have a more open mind towards drastic
social changes in gender roles, this is not true for the entire world.
Countries like China and those of the Middle East are still very much male-dominated
and a gender role switch will not occur easily, or possibly not even at all.
Considering population, United Nations statistics show that in China there are
93 women to 100 men. Even more surprisingly, in Qatar there are only 32 women
per 100 men and in Bahrain there are a mere 60 women per 100 men, both countries
in the Middle East. On the other hand, both the United States and the United
Kingdom have 103 women per 100 men in their national population. This trend is
also seen in the percent of educated men and women in Western nations versus
those in the more male dominated societies. In many of these strict patriarchal
countries, removing men from society seems very unrealistic.
Change is occurring regarding gender roles in the United
States whether Americans like it or not. Change is hard, scary, and
frustrating, but it is also necessary for the evolution of our species. Men can
fight the change all they want, but it is looking more and more like women are
winning this battle. The other option is to adapt. Men would benefit greatly by
pushing aside past male gender roles and male expectations in other areas of
the world and consider what is going on in the world around them. Obviously,
this is not even always necessarily true for all American men. There are many
fields of work that men are generally more suited towards. A great example of
this is math and science. Data explains that male high school students on average
score higher on the math portion of the SAT test. These fields also still have
a fairly large gap between men and women employed in the field. Not to say that
women cannot find employment in these fields, but tendency shows that men
thrive more in these areas. Men will never become completely obsolete in the workforce,
but men need to consider how the gender dominance switch will affect them and
their families personally. Adaptation is key. An open mind is key. The longer
men fight society, the more dissatisfied they will become with both themselves
and the world around them resulting in depression, substance abuse, violence,
and so much more. To counter this, the sooner they adapt, the sooner they’ll be
able to find their new place in society.
Dad, this step you are taking to adapt is extremely helpful
for you and our family. This may be completely against what your father and grandfather
would encourage or what other parts of the world are doing, but it is what is
best for you. Acceptance and adaptation will allow our species to continue and
evolve rather than destroying itself. You’re making history!
Yours always,
Melissa
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